The irony of life...your dreams at so many odd moments are lived by a third party....and you live on to hear the commentary and sighs of sheer joy!
I wanted to be a TV star.....someone else in the family stepped into the shoes....made waves and basks in the limelight till date! Then my better half managed to do what I wanted for myself....be a reporter on live TV. I don't hold it against him.....but I wish it had happened to me too!
I wanted to be a copywriter....instead I helped create a monster....who lived off me, became what I hoped to be.....the silver lining was that someone else in the family decided to get into the same field, albeit in a different role...but well....
I wanted to sing...I can sing....though I hated my music lessons back then, now I look at some of those kids who turn up to cut a deal with some recording company and then wonder...at the sheer waste of talent and hell thats another dream almost gone by....again to my credit my family stepped up and a couple of people are trying to make up for it....but what the hell...its not me at the end of the day!
I want to be a writer...I always wanted to write...I write to please myself....am I any good? Don't know and frankly I don't care....the willingness and the craving to write exists...I don't want to let anybody else step in here. I am clinging on to my dream. I hope this one doesn't pass me by....
Frankly I am scared to dream now...they never materialise to my satisfaction....everyone else steals my little moments and highs....its irritatingly benumbing...
Maybe for now I should merely be content with silly black and white dreams about my little home or my already bought car, or my careening weight issues or my evading monthly visitor or my silly temparament, or my crazed tantrums....or my dwindling intellect....or my forgotten yesterdays....or my streak of individuality....
The losses seem one too many....I need to stop....Or the mere count will kill me!
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