Thursday, April 09, 2009

Looks Maketh a Person!

It’s funny how one can be judged on all counts merely by taking in one’s appearance. In the last couple of weeks so many have stood in judgment of me and even assumed to know what exactly I was made up of, based on how I look now.

It rankles when any achievement or quality one might have is shrunk to hide behind one’s waist size.

And most even pretended to know what was behind my “excessive fat build-up” and proceeded to give me well-meaning (yeah right!) advice on how to shed those kilos and look svelte.

The irritant in this whole episode is that many assume that one likes “being fat” and that I’m wearing it as an ornament, when deep down one is seething at not being able to correct the flaw in its entirety.

Even more pissing off when random strangers jest with me about my weight and suggest that I might want to take the stairs to the top floor so that I can hasten the weight loss process.

“You ridiculous, interfering moron, if it were that simple, I would be running up and down a flight of stairs from morn to night.”

Truth remains that one’s girth is indeed a deciding factor, in one’s success, choice of career or personal profile within your chosen medium, your growth trajectory, your social standing, your perceived value and what they think you are capable of. And every single instance in the last so many years bears testimony to this fact by playing out in entirety in my life.

It’s irritating and now once again you notice that as the shit hits the fan, the only one left hurt and looking for comfort is me.

But I need to hang in there. I cannot let random people turn me off course and drown myself in depression. I need to find the “hot button” that will keep me motivated to change my settings, and turn into eye-candy once again, so that everyone might think I am worth something.

And then finally maybe I will scale those heights I have been eyeing for so long.

After all, unless one looks good, one would be of no use to the world!

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