Cluttered thoughts

As the first year draws to a close…random thoughts clutter my brain….

Everyone says the first year is the toughest. In my case it hasn’t been as bad as some made it sound.

There have been changes galore…where do I start? The first and final rule of the entire relationship apart from the rules we set each other remains neither family shall feel ignored or left out! So lets begin….

Its no longer just the two of us…you realize that the day you decide you want to settle down, but the enormity of it hits you when each decision you make becomes a point of conversation and discussion with everyone in the immediate family (extended excluded if you have been smart enough to put them in their respective places immediately after the ceremony!).
Now vacations mean family visits, and to top it all, exactly divided ones between both houses. No one should feel left out!
Phone calls are no longer based on your prerogative or emotional need…they are to be weekly and in both directions.
At family gatherings language has to be extremely polite if not formal…four letter words should not feature even by mistake
Gifts have to be bought keeping in mind both families
Family will drop in when least expected and there’s not much you can do about it. Which also means screwed sleep cycles and being at your best and no bickering come what may.
It means putting up with extended family the two of you have gone to lengths to avoid…simply because the “close” family believes you should never alienate anyone related to you
No finding fault with family even if they are wrong. You will end up a sore loser.
Early on decide which festivals will be spent with whom so neither gets impacted
Don’t let any “well-meaning” criticism or advice get your goat. It is always meant in good humour and for your well-being.
Never make a face coz then it is used against you at a later stage and they think you are making the other person suffer with your anger.
Try and make an ally on the other side of the fence early on, you will need someone to fight your case at some point, sooner than you know it.
Learn to memorize birthdays and any other event which might matter to one and all
Portray yourself as much more gullible and simple than you really are and earn some brownie points. Will help in the long run.
If a fight is getting out of hand and there is a possibility it might make news in family circles, immediately get someone on your side before the other person makes it public. The first comer is always more innocent in the long run.

Okie there are many more. But this is now making me think …and real hard too. So lemme stop before I get scary thoughts.


Oh and while I am on this topic….I found this really interesting list of things that you “will find in a happy couple”. And guess what I failed only on one account…Very good did I hear someone say? I am patting myself on my unreachable back!
Here is the list in case you need to refer….

They Go to Bed At the Same Time - That's right, they go to bed together. Whether they want to make love, snuggle up and talk or just feel the closeness of each other as they fall asleep, they go to bed together and one partner may get back up after the other has gone to sleep, but they give each other the comfort of being together whenever they are going to sleep
They Develop Shared Interests - Whether they shared these interests before they got married or discovered them after, happy couples enjoy spending time together so much that they work together to find things to do together
They Hold hands - Whether they are in the car, walking in a store or walking in the park - they hold hands and walk side by side, because it's important for them to be together in whatever they are doing
Accentuate the Positive - Happy couples focus more on the positive aspects of each other more than the negative - it's not about the few things they do wrong, but all the things they do right
Forgiveness and Trust are the Rule - If an argument can't be solved or resolved, the happy couple chooses trust and forgiveness over the alternatives
Hugs & Kisses are what happens when the happy couple sees each other after any absence whether it's 1 hour or 1 day
I Love You's are not perfunctory, they are vital for the happy couple to be said and to be heard every morning, every afternoon and every evening
Saying good morning and good night is important because it acknowledges a happy couples partnership and their commitment to each other because they don't let the little or the big things slide
Happy couples reach out to each other all day long whether it's a quick two minute phone call or instant messages where they can keep their fingers on the pulse of the relationship
Happy couples take pride in each other, they are proud to be seen together, they are proud of their achievements and they are proud to just be together