Cinderella Man?

My friend’s call today caught me off balance…. what she told me seemed like a movie…a nightmare I have wanted to avoid at any cost…. do I want to tell It all…. In such a public forum? I guess what I need is re-assurance that these are random isolated incidents that wont happen to me…. she is hurt and confused. And honestly for once I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t know how to save her from heartache. I don’t like to see her like this…in a shriveled state. But hell…wish I could help out.

I tell her story…. it rings true even as I write…and I hate that man for what he’s done to the one woman who I watched over like a hawk all through my teens…. she has been an asset, my soul mate…he hurt her…he let her down. I don’t know what I want to tell him! Do I even want to associate with him?

“Blackened hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked to my little corner, trying to shut out the cruel laughs that refused to die down.

Had my trust been betrayed? Had I been taken for a ride? Had he despite my repeated admonitions and warnings gone ahead and played truant? Had I lost my reason to live? Had I lost my only source of comfort? Or had I lost all?

Shivering legs prevented me from taking my seat…. They were talking about this new person in his surroundings…why hadn’t he mentioned her to me? Why this stoic silence? Even when I ask? And then in retort he accuses me of things I haven’t dreamt of. Why? Is there something he wants hidden under the dirt? Something he is trying hard to abstain from? Something he has done but can’t explain…nor accept. Something that makes him guilty… Something he should never have even considered even when sloshed out of his wits….

Something in me died today.... It was like... I don’t know how to explain...for one moment it seemed like the ground underneath me had moved and my balance was toppled and I was falling into an abyss.... like I had been slapped.... like someone had thrown hot water on my face...like I was not alive and I could stand and hear people talking ill of me in front of my illusion.... like I was not wanted anymore.... like there was this bitch who was trying to creep in….And you almost let her....

God it worries me no end…and now I hurt for the accusations refuse to wash off despite my best efforts…I want this to go away. I want that bitch out of our lives. I don’t want you to share even a breath with her…I don’t want you to touch the machine that might touch her as she walks past….I wish like those loony women I could stick pins into a doll and she would cry in agony and fry in the fires of hell….I pray a car hits her and mashes her to jam as she crosses the road…I wish someone would rape her….I wish she would come under a truck and her head were severed…. I want her dead…. now….”

So do I honey…I shouted into the phone…she was crying….I guess I need to call her. It’s been an hour since we spoke. I need to save her from some stupidity. Moments when I wonder if it weren’t better to be alone in this world?