All About Smiles

Its not too late...if I were to take an example from Runaway Bride, but the whole idea of being at my best and sweetest and smiliest (if there is such a term) behaviour is sure giving me cold feet...

Imagine for the whole two or three weeks all I will do is be polite, politically correct (meaning never say FUCK, BULLSHIT and MA'FUCKER etc etc) and smile no matter how obnoxious and irritating the suggestion might be....SO then do I want to run for my life while I still can?

Dunno....the wheels are in motion and while I ponder, it suddenly struck me that maybe I should think ALOUD yet again..

Frankly why do I write these things down for public perusal? Am I satisfying my ego, am I trying to prove to the world that I possess absolutely enviable linguistic skills , am I looking for some more adulation and ego boosters from strangers so then I do not have to be polite to them for the rest of my life merely for paying me a compliment, am I looking for unknown critics so that I needn't hate them for being so unkind while they tear my text apart, am I merely venting my need to write, am I looking for some sort of reiteration that I am good with this form and so I can still reinvent myself and become a hell of a success story, am I looking to satiate some other unknown need that surfaces only in my subconscious, or whatever else.....

Holy God what and why am I writing this?

It would be but great to know.....

And somehow it makes me feel immensely good to have done this...maybe it feels better to have something written and tucked away in some space where I cannot tamper and do away with the evidence and something that I can hit a mere button and relive for however long I choose to...and better still i do not have to hold on to all those little pieces of parchment that have faded from the foul sweat that my hands spew forth...(not exactly foul but kind of fitted in and sounded nicer and more dramatic to be precise!)

whatever the cause and effect be I think I have now successfully proven that it aint that hard to write a piece without actually having an actual reason or need to write...

ah ciao....