Gabriel Garcia Marquez termed his muses, his whores...and aptly so. Unfortunately the ones I am breaking bread with are no longer that useful....Mere corks that are obstructing the movement of life breath...and of sensitivities towards the beloved....
But one needs to ponder about the existence of such whores....do creative juices flow courtesy their appearance or disappearance....do they make sense of the hazy words forming the unending puzzle that finally peters down into letters that grace the page? do they stylize the lingua franca that one prides over even in the mildest forms of sleep...or do they merely make for candy that pre-empts the taste buds and makes glucose levels soar, thereby creating the perfect illusion to necessitate higher brain activity that thereby culminates in some sort of art.....and then also manage to walk off with all the applause?
Food for thought if I may so say....
Mine unfortunately served the purpose until they ratified my theorems of the existence of a lesser planet within the primary one inhabited by all the scum of the earth that could give a duffer a run for his money...and then while they stared and guffawed at their self found superiority, one could simply erase them from immediate and long-term memory...and move on in peace....
But here's the obstruction...sense and rationality eludes a choicest few...and then they become the phlegm that you try desperately to throw out, but sitting on a bus there is the threat of it hitting you back on your face given the air speed....then you can but sit and wait....what if patience eludes you too and the phlegm is growing in size and you simply need an alternative solution to spit it out...Bingo...that plastic bag hidden in the recesses of your little carry bag...oops it has a slash down its face....
so now either the driver pays attention to my gyrations and halts the bus or he lends me that little white scarf he has around his face to let me use at will...I prefer the latter...so well I need to smile...and tuck in my blouse tight and make my tits slightly visible...
EUREKA...now let me implement it in real life....
what will his life look devoid of these whores????
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
All About Smiles
Its not too late...if I were to take an example from Runaway Bride, but the whole idea of being at my best and sweetest and smiliest (if there is such a term) behaviour is sure giving me cold feet...
Imagine for the whole two or three weeks all I will do is be polite, politically correct (meaning never say FUCK, BULLSHIT and MA'FUCKER etc etc) and smile no matter how obnoxious and irritating the suggestion might be....SO then do I want to run for my life while I still can?
Dunno....the wheels are in motion and while I ponder, it suddenly struck me that maybe I should think ALOUD yet again..
Frankly why do I write these things down for public perusal? Am I satisfying my ego, am I trying to prove to the world that I possess absolutely enviable linguistic skills , am I looking for some more adulation and ego boosters from strangers so then I do not have to be polite to them for the rest of my life merely for paying me a compliment, am I looking for unknown critics so that I needn't hate them for being so unkind while they tear my text apart, am I merely venting my need to write, am I looking for some sort of reiteration that I am good with this form and so I can still reinvent myself and become a hell of a success story, am I looking to satiate some other unknown need that surfaces only in my subconscious, or whatever else.....
Holy God what and why am I writing this?
It would be but great to know.....
And somehow it makes me feel immensely good to have done this...maybe it feels better to have something written and tucked away in some space where I cannot tamper and do away with the evidence and something that I can hit a mere button and relive for however long I choose to...and better still i do not have to hold on to all those little pieces of parchment that have faded from the foul sweat that my hands spew forth...(not exactly foul but kind of fitted in and sounded nicer and more dramatic to be precise!)
whatever the cause and effect be I think I have now successfully proven that it aint that hard to write a piece without actually having an actual reason or need to write...
ah ciao....
Imagine for the whole two or three weeks all I will do is be polite, politically correct (meaning never say FUCK, BULLSHIT and MA'FUCKER etc etc) and smile no matter how obnoxious and irritating the suggestion might be....SO then do I want to run for my life while I still can?
Dunno....the wheels are in motion and while I ponder, it suddenly struck me that maybe I should think ALOUD yet again..
Frankly why do I write these things down for public perusal? Am I satisfying my ego, am I trying to prove to the world that I possess absolutely enviable linguistic skills , am I looking for some more adulation and ego boosters from strangers so then I do not have to be polite to them for the rest of my life merely for paying me a compliment, am I looking for unknown critics so that I needn't hate them for being so unkind while they tear my text apart, am I merely venting my need to write, am I looking for some sort of reiteration that I am good with this form and so I can still reinvent myself and become a hell of a success story, am I looking to satiate some other unknown need that surfaces only in my subconscious, or whatever else.....
Holy God what and why am I writing this?
It would be but great to know.....
And somehow it makes me feel immensely good to have done this...maybe it feels better to have something written and tucked away in some space where I cannot tamper and do away with the evidence and something that I can hit a mere button and relive for however long I choose to...and better still i do not have to hold on to all those little pieces of parchment that have faded from the foul sweat that my hands spew forth...(not exactly foul but kind of fitted in and sounded nicer and more dramatic to be precise!)
whatever the cause and effect be I think I have now successfully proven that it aint that hard to write a piece without actually having an actual reason or need to write...
ah ciao....
Monday, January 02, 2006
Hurrah!!!
After long months of anticipation and frustration, finally the Channel's test signal is there for all to see...and for us to watch and convince ourselves that after all its not some sort nightmare....
Anyways moving away from that momentary high which was shared by more than hundreds across a few states lets get down to business...
Another year passed us by and we are all smarter and wiser for the experience gained and we move on to greener or maybe graying pastures with the hope that all things shall turn out for the better....
I ushered the New Year in sitting in a chai place...listening to absolute knuckleheads singing alongside a karaoke machine...while some others cheered them on.....for the sheer bravado with which people exhibit their failings, made me sit back and smile in wonder as my fiance looked out at the crowds that thronged the place ready to jump up and punch the sky the moment it struck midnight....
We had just finished watching King Kong...an absolute waste of money and imagination...and were killing time, not wanting to spend the moment in an auto stuck in a jam while the moment passed us by....for one it was far above the wasteful experience we had the last year...when we remained rooted to the same spot on the road for more than 2 hours waiting for the car in front to make one slight movement....
The hullabaloo around New Year's eve has not ceased to amaze me...Is it the happiness at having locked away certain bad moments in some recess of your memory and the excitement at what is in store in the days ahead that has us partying away wildly into the night, or some other absolute feeling at having existed and successfully too on this planet for one more year given us the reason and the energy to party madly and energetically....of course one can always concoct up some sort of answer...but then the truth is somewhere out there...only no one has bothered to look at it the way it should be....
I have moved onto another year and now looking back there are lot of things I sure am going to bury in the darkest recess of my brain..but the point being there were some turnaround moments when I wanted to scream at the highest my lungs would allow and celebrate those inane oddities that have made my 26th year of existence even minimally memorable....
Anyways moving away from that momentary high which was shared by more than hundreds across a few states lets get down to business...
Another year passed us by and we are all smarter and wiser for the experience gained and we move on to greener or maybe graying pastures with the hope that all things shall turn out for the better....
I ushered the New Year in sitting in a chai place...listening to absolute knuckleheads singing alongside a karaoke machine...while some others cheered them on.....for the sheer bravado with which people exhibit their failings, made me sit back and smile in wonder as my fiance looked out at the crowds that thronged the place ready to jump up and punch the sky the moment it struck midnight....
We had just finished watching King Kong...an absolute waste of money and imagination...and were killing time, not wanting to spend the moment in an auto stuck in a jam while the moment passed us by....for one it was far above the wasteful experience we had the last year...when we remained rooted to the same spot on the road for more than 2 hours waiting for the car in front to make one slight movement....
The hullabaloo around New Year's eve has not ceased to amaze me...Is it the happiness at having locked away certain bad moments in some recess of your memory and the excitement at what is in store in the days ahead that has us partying away wildly into the night, or some other absolute feeling at having existed and successfully too on this planet for one more year given us the reason and the energy to party madly and energetically....of course one can always concoct up some sort of answer...but then the truth is somewhere out there...only no one has bothered to look at it the way it should be....
I have moved onto another year and now looking back there are lot of things I sure am going to bury in the darkest recess of my brain..but the point being there were some turnaround moments when I wanted to scream at the highest my lungs would allow and celebrate those inane oddities that have made my 26th year of existence even minimally memorable....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
