Confounded Confucius!

The chill is piercing...an aberration of sorts....here in the middle of May, at 43 degree celsius, I am shivering inside my sleeves....

The drab office colours are blinding me as I wander through the corridor holding aloft a bottle of "chilled" water in order to cool down my senses! And there on that hideous woman's table I see the lines....Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life....so said Confucius if I'm any bit wiser...and he has made me ruminate yet again....

I am stuck in this abyss....rolling out news bulletins day after day....dumbing down all the bits of information for that jobless viewer who has tuned into my channel....freezing inside the PCR and cursing all the powers that be for mesmerising me into this medium that excels in lying and hoodwinking! What am I doing here? Changing the world? Bringing them the truth that is out there? Making the layman's voice echo in the chambers of power?

I am doing nothing remotely close...I am merely giving silly old farts time to make their voices heard, rich obnoxious politicians more time to spread their muddled up ever changing ideology, and converting into a joke anyone who tried to make a difference by questioning every pure thought of mankind....

I am ensuring that every story that pleases my boss goes on air, every time he wishes to enlighten the lesser mortals I eat into the precious ad breaks to allow him to let his creative juices flow in an uninterrupted fashion....I am doing nothing worthwhile and feeling even more worthless with every passing bulletin I roll out in an attempt to lay bare the happenings in the corridors of power!

My job sucks...and I want a change...but what should that change be? Something in me cries out against doing something that is unlike what I currently pursue...after all this post here had its share of obstacles and sacrifices....then again having to put up with this monotony for the rest of my life send shivers up my brain stem....I will end up being a vegetable.....Do I risk that? If not should I go back to academics...add a few more degrees and churn out names and quotes in the time you bat an eyelid? Or should I sit at home, take a sabbatical...work on my love for writing and ensnare the world into reading what might make for some good bedtime scary story? Options and then again lack of options...or rather the fear of being financially unstable and forced to live within the four walls of the house I run from every morning for the silence is killing?

I am confused....and lets hope Confucius might be able to bail me out this time round!